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Should We Do Pre-Marital Counselling?

Before you say 'I do' you may be wondering if it is worth it doing marriage counselling. Whilst we have couples that sit on either side of the fence, there are amazing benefits to actually doing pre-marital counselling. Getting married is so exciting, but building a strong foundation in your marriage will ensure endless happy years and a lifetime of love.


What is pre-marital counselling?

Before you make the decision, it is wise to understand what pre-marital counselling is. Pre-marital counselling is a type of therapy that helps soon to be wed couples prepare for their journey of marriage. It helps ensure that you and your beloved have a strong and healthy relationship, which will ultimately give you both a better chance of having a stable, healthy and happy marriage.

During this time, your counsellor will help you identify weak areas in your relationship and help provide tools to improve it. In your sessions you'll be encouraged to discuss bigger topics that may not necessarily be brought up in such detail before you became engaged. Topics can include; religion, finances, conflict resolution, affection and sex, beliefs and values, family relationships etc. Read our listed Pro's & Con's to decide if you would like to explore the option of pre-marital counselling.


Bridal couples that have completed marriage counselling have had very positive feedback on their therapy sessions. See our top 4 pros below:

It builds up amazing communication skills
Talking about tough topics in a safe and controlled environment really has its benefits. Not only does it help improve communication skills but aids in developing solid conflict resolution skills which as we all know is absolutely key in marriage. Talking about meatier topics helps both partners to set realistic expectations for their journey ahead. As individuals, you each bring your own set of opinions and ideas to the table and sometimes it wont always match your partners ideologies. Taking the time to discuss these varied topics, differences and expectations before you say 'I do' will ultimately help you understand your partner better and build up a rock solid foundation.

An opportunity to address issues
Sometimes we don't always want to address issues that can either make or break a relationship. Marriage counselling aids in addressing these issues before they snowball and get out of control. Discussing these issues with your partner and counsellor may result in you both finding a solution to your unique issues and helps avoid serious conflicts after the big day.

You get an outsiders professional opinion
One of the best pro's of pre-marriage counselling is that you receive an honest outsiders perspective on your relationship. Your counsellor will be able to identify triggers, areas where you lack and excel and provide you with life long tools to ensure your beautiful union lasts.

It can help strengthen you as a couple
When done correctly, pre-marital counselling can have benefits long after your sessions are completed. If you both do it whole heartedly with the intension of giving your marriage the best chance, pre-marital counselling can help strengthen your special bond. Not only are you equipped with amazing tools and skills, but you can see and learn a whole new side of your partner - it may even surprise you.


With the good also comes the bad and it is important to consider the pro's and con's before you decide to proceed with pre-marital counselling. We have listed our 3 con's below:

It can cause bigger problems
Pre-marriage counselling calls for honesty and that sometimes means bringing up issues that can hurt your partners feelings. Although counselling has the potential to solve disagreements and issues, it also has the ability to create problems. As a couple you will be challenged with tough questions and sometimes it will open up a Pandora's box to discuss issues that you may never have considered important or reveal your partners true feelings on matters that you thought was handled.

It comes at a cost
Like most things in life you will have to spend money. Some churches offer free counselling sessions to engaged couples whilst some marriage counsellors charge a fee, which can sometimes be quite hefty. It is important to do your homework and decide what will be best for both of you based on your needs and budget constraints.

The counselling may not be that great
In order to have the best chance, you must decide on an excellent counsellor and unfortunately not everyone falls into that bracket. Make sure to do your research so that you can find someone who truly will make a difference in your impending marriage. A skilled and professional marriage counsellor can make or break your sessions, so take time to invest in one that will ensure you have the best chance at forever.

With these handy list of pros and cons you can make a well thought out and calculated decision on whether or not you would like a pre-marriage counsellor. View our amazing counsellers on site HERE and have the best shot at forever!


Reverend Stephen van Basten

Reverend Stephen van Basten

I would love to assist you to get married and set you firmly upon your journey to living a beautiful life together.

LMS Life Counselling

LMS Life Counselling

Marriage Officer & Marriage Counselling